Girls Night Out
by RedDwarfette
Summary: Anya hires Spike as the entertainment at her bachelorette party.
1. Part One

**Girls Night Out by RedDwarfette**

**Summary:** Anya hires Spike as the entertainment at her bachelorette party. Season 6 of BtVS.****

**AN:** This fiction is dedicated to all the fans of BtVS & Ats who need a laugh.

**Disclaimer: **The characters of BtVS & Ats are the property of Joss Whedon, Fox & UPN. Lyrics from _You Sexy Thing_ by Hot Chocolate and the remix by T-Shirt.

************************************

Anya paced across the crypt.

'...You see, that's why I need you. No one else will do,' Anya said.

Spike turned his head from the reality TV show, 'Say what?'

She huffed. 'Spike, weren't you listening at all? Human tradition dictates white dress, cake and a 'just married' sign tacked to the car window.'

'So?'

'That's where you come in,' Anya started.

'In a dress?' 

'No...' Anya smiled, 'As the stripper.'

'No way, no blooming way. You're off your rocker if you think I'd do that.'

'But I can't ask anyone else! Xander would get jealous if I hired a professional. If you do it, he'll never believe I'm actually interested in your body.'

'Thanks a lot.'

'Spike, it's not that I don't find you physically attractive. Or that I haven't had fantasies involving you, peach yogurt and a tire swing, but my heart is for Xander. I just need you to shake your demon booty while me and the girls ogle your butt. It's tradition.'

'Screw tradition.'

'I'll give you fifty bucks.'

'Two hundred... and some Burba weed.'

'Deal.'

Anya and Spike shook hands.

'It is tax deductible, right?'

******************

'How many times do I have to tell you? No, Anya has not told me what she organised for her party.' Buffy shook her head. 'Although apparently my good luck in being your bridesmaid has me staring down a burlap with blood larva.'

'Buffy, I promise no larva.' Xander said. 'It's just, I heard the craziest thing when she was talking on the phone. Stop me if it's crazy, she's hired someone we know to dance. And the only person I could think of, was, please stop me...' 

Xander paused.

'Giles. Which is ridiculous cause why would Anya want _him_ and also when did he learn how to dance?'

'Xander, first of all, Anya does not want Giles in any way. Second, aren't you having a stripper at your bachelor party? Third, Giles is on the other side of the planet. Look, I'll talk to her and get the scoop. Now,' Buffy adjusted the axe she was carrying, 'can I please kill the Kurlashi demon standing behind you?'

******************

_"I want a lover whose man enough, I want a lover who can do his stuff..."_

'Holy Hades. What are you doing?'

'Uh, practising?'

Clem blinked. 'I had wondered if Buffy was into kinky stuff but this exceeds all I ever wanted to know about Slayer/Vampire mating rituals.'

_"Oh Yeah, Do you like what you see here? Come on Come on Down..."_

Spike stood frozen in the middle of the crypt. 'I've been hired to strip at Anya's hen's night.'

_"I wanna lover who is PD Hot, I wanna lover who can rubba dub dub..."_

Clem sat on the sagging lounge. 'Hmm, Ok. Let's see the routine again from the top.'

******************

'Not bad, not bad at all.'

Dawn bit down again into her latest culinary delight.

'Tara, do you want some?'

Tara leant forward and took a sample. 'Less burny parts this time. Always a plus.'

Buffy entered the kitchen. 'Ah, I see naked Dawn strikes again.'

'What?' Tara's said.

'Like the _Naked Chef _but with Dawn? Forget it,' Buffy picked a piece off the plate. 'Mmm, less burny parts this time. Always a plus.'

Dawn and Tara shared a smile.

'So Tara, has Anya told you what she's doing for her party?' Buffy asked around a mouthful of food.

'Not really. She asked me about a general non-violence spell, I guess she's inviting a few of her vengeance demon friends too.'

Buffy nodded, 'Right. No fuss, no muss.'

'Also, she said something about a spell preventing groping injuries but I thought was being, you know,' Tara smiled, 'Anya.'

'Groping? That kind of suggests there will be something to grope.' 

Tara turned to rinse the plate.

'Maybe Xander was onto something.' Buffy frowned. 'He said Anya was organising a dancer...'

'A stripper!' Dawn squealed, 'Oh my god. I'm going to a party with a stripper. This is so cool. I have to ring everyone I know, right now.'

'Hold your hormones, Xander said it was someone we know. And don't think you'll be there for the performance anyway, Miss.'

Dawn pouted and stormed out of the kitchen.

'Ok, Xander's out by default. Giles, I can't see him flying back to the hellmouth for this. Angel can't dance. That only leaves-'

******************

_"Kiss me love, Touch me baby, Come on come on down."_  
  


Spike stood panting unnecessary breaths when the song ended.

'Alright, your basic technique is good. However, I would like to see more hip swivels and let's face it man, the song has to go.' 

Clem rummaged through a bucket of chicken before selecting a wing.

'I'd also like to see those pants come off.'

At Spike's alarmed look, Clem amended.

'What I mean is, Buffy can have what's underneath but you need some Velcro pants. Easy to rip right off at the end. Or middle. Or anytime the girls start howling for it, I guess.'

'Yeah, what makes you the expert?' Spike sneered.

'Four years of contemporary dance and two years as 'The Masked Zorro' at _Night Pleasures_, the demon exotic dance club.'

'Oh.'

******************

'Janice, you are never going to believe what's happened! You know my sisters friend Xander who's getting married? Uhuh. That's the one. No I don't have the hot's for Xander anymore. Eeew. That was a childish crush. No, Jordan Banks is so not my type. Is not. Is not. Is NOT. Anyway, will you shut up so I can get to the good part? I'm invited to her bachelorette party, and guess what? She's hired a stripper. Seriously, how cool is that? I mean, my lame sister reckons I can't go, but I so am. I might even pinch his butt. Ha ha, maybe even blow my allowance putting bills in his G-Sting. As if. No, Buffy can't stop me. You want to come? I'll have to ask Anya. Uhuh. Call you tomorrow, Ok? Bye.'

******************

Anya looked up from her counter. 'Hi Willow, how may I serve your magical needs?'

'Hey Anya, nothing magical for me today.'

Anya sighed in disappointment.

'But I'd really like to talk to you about your party.' 

Anya perked up, 'Really? I have a few details I'd like to discuss with someone.'

'Well, I'm your man. I mean, Xander's your man. I'm your girl. Wait, I mean-' Willow took a breath, 'just think of me as a confidant.'

'Great. Take a seat. I'll be with you in a sec.' Anya walked to the front door, turned the sign to 'Closed' then approach the table.

'Did you just close the shop?' Willow said amazed.

'Yes, this is much more important than money. I can't believe I said that,' she shook her head. 'About my party...' 

'Actually, as Xander's best man, shouldn't I be at his bachelor party instead?' Willow asked. 

Anya face fell.

'Not that I want too, of course. I mean men, who needs them? Not me. Nope, I'll be with the girls, like a lesbian should be,' she concluded in a rush.

Anya overcome with joy hugged Willow hard. 'I'm so happy!'

******************

Xander hammered a nail into a wall.

'Hey man, heard your girl's having a pre-wedding bash.'

Xander turned to his co-worker, 'Yeah, Chris. Anya's having a party but so am I. There may even be cocktail wieners involved. You're coming, right?'

Chris shook his head, 'Yeah. Xander, this is serious. You know Kenny?'

'Yeah,' Xander replied.

'His chick ran off with the dancer two days before the wedding, dude! If I were you I'd put my foot down. Strippers are for men to enjoy, not women.'

'Thanks for the non-sexist yet Neanderthal advice, but I trust Anya,' Xander shrugged.

'Whatever,' Chris walked away.

'But just to be on the safe side...' Xander pull out his mobile and began dialing.

******************

_"Hi, you've reached the Summer's household. Buffy and Dawn are busy fighting evil and can't come to the phone right now, so..."_

'Hi Buffy. It's Xander here. Cute message. Um, I was wondering if you've maybe investigated that... demon thing we discussed the other night on patrol. You know, the, exotic one? With a penchant for gyrating at women for prolonged intervals? Ahem, if you can get me the info on the particular demon a.s.a.p. I'd really appreciate it. Especially if the rumors we heard are true. About it's identity, I mean. In fact why don't you call me, as soon as you get this message? I'm at work, so call my mobile...

*Beep*


	2. Part Two

**Girls Night Out by RedDwarfette**

**Summary:** Anya hires Spike as the entertainment at her bachelorette party. Season 6 of BtVS.****

**AN:** This fiction is dedicated to all the fans of BtVS & Ats who need a laugh.

**Disclaimer: **The characters of _Buffy_ & _Angel_ are the property of Joss Whedon, Fox & UPN. Lyrics from _You Sexy Thing_ by Hot Chocolate and the remix by T-Shirt.

************************************

'My back feels like I've been tackled an army of pissed off Slayers.'

'You think that's bad? Wait till you've had quarters stuffed down your pants,' Clem said shuddering, 'Don't ask.'

'Wasn't planning to, mate.' 

Spike slumped in his chair and opened a beer.

'How do I let myself get talk into these things,' he mused.

Clem sat on the lounge sewing Velcro onto the seam of a pair of black pants, 'Blind luck?'

'Luck has nothing to do with it. Stupidity perhaps. So, ah, what did you think of that one?'

'Good. Pretty soon you'll be shaking your money maker like a pro.'

Spike groaned, 'You say that, like it's a good thing.' 

'I noticed Buffy working at the Doublemeat last week. If she needs money that bad, maybe this could be a regular for you. I know Chantelle is hiring over at the _Eye Candy_ club.'

'I don't think so,' Spike shook his head. 'And what are were you doing over at the Doublemeat Palace anyway?'

Clem blushed, 'I like the double medley's.'

Spike smirked, 'Really?'

'Well there's this girl...' Clem began.

'Always starts with a girl.'

******************

'So end's another successful day at _Angel Investigations_,' Cordelia sighed, 'Now, if I could just get this Murlav demon mucus out of my hair, it could almost qualify as a perfect day.'

Cordelia sifted through the mail.

'Sunnydale? Who would send me anything from-?'

A card fell onto the desk.

_Dear Cordelia,_

_      I have arranged a traditional gathering of females, both human and demon, to participate in celebrating my last few days as an independent single woman. As former__ business__ associates [vengeance demon activities performed for you as Anyanka] and rivals in the battle for Xander's heart [keep away from him, he's mine!] I would like to invite you and your co-worker Miss Burkle to attend my bachelorette party. There will be a non-violence spell in place with refreshments provided. I have also engaged the services of William the Bloody [Spike] to entertain. Hopefully in very tight pants. _

_     Eagerly awaiting your acceptance,_

_              Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins_

_P.S. Details are enclosed and don't forget a gift._

'Fred,' Cordelia's yell echoed through the hotel.

'What's wrong?' Fred ran down the hall clad in a towel, Murlav mucus still clinging to her face.

'Pack your bags. We're going to Sunnydale.'

******************

_"Cause the Doublemeat is double sweet-"_

'Hi Buffy. Xander isn't home. Would you mind not singing that jingle in the hallway. It's annoying,' Anya said closing the door.

'Wait, I want to talk to you about your party,' Buffy said.

'Oh,' Anya smiled, 'come in.'

'I heard you've hired someone we know for the entertainment,' Buffy started.

'That's right,' Anya poured herself a juice, 'Want some?'

'No, thanks.' Buffy hesitated. 'So, who did you hire?' she said after a few seconds of silence.

'Spike.'

'Spike? As in my Spike?'

'That's what I said. Hey, did you just say m-'

'You hired Spike to dance in front of horny human and literally horny demon women?' 

Anya nodded, 'Yes. Is there a problem?'

'Is there- Is there a problem? I have to go,' Buffy said rushing out the door.

******************

'Hi Anya, it's Dawn. I was wondering, about your party, would you mind if I brought a friend? You don't? Wow, thanks. And about the strip- Uhuh, I totally agree. Girls should be able to appreciate the male form from an early age. Thanks Anya, you're the best. See you later.'

******************

_Dear Halfrek,_

_      I have arranged a traditional gathering of females, both demon and human, to participate in celebrating my last few days as an independent single woman. As former business associates and dearest friends, I would like to invite you to attend my bachelorette party and respectfully request that no vengeance be performed during the festivities. There will be a non-violence spell in place with refreshments provided. I have also engaged the services of William the Bloody [Spike] to entertain. Hopefully in very tight pants. _

_     Eagerly awaiting your acceptance,_

_              Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins_

_P.S. Details are enclosed and don't forget a gift._

Halfrek read her invitation again, as she waited for D'Hoffren's call. William, mmm, I wonder if it could be...  

D'Hoffren sat at his desk filling out forms. 

'Halfrek,' he said.

Halfrek materialised in the seat across from the Lord of Arash Ma'har.

'Yes, D'Hoffren?'

'Halfrek, I see you've failed to complete this request for time off. I'm assuming this involves Anyanka?'

Halfrek nodded, 'Yes, D'Hoffren. She is having a celebration for her wedding.'

'Hmm, hope for the best, wish for the rest. Your application is accepted. You may go,' D'Hoffren dismissed Halfrek.

******************

'Oh my god, Janice. Anya said you could come to her party. We are going to have a blast. No, I haven't talked to Buffy about it but- Anya invited us and it's her party. Ok, I'll have the talk. I hope he's cute too. Wow, I wonder if he'll go down to his underwear or take it all off. Ha ha. I know, it could be. Him again? Do me a favour and forget about Ryan, please? See you tomorrow. Bye.'

******************

'You're not chatty tonight, Slayer,' Spike said staking the last vampire.

'I didn't realise it was my sparkling conversational skills you were interested in,' Buffy replied.

'Alright, what the hell's got your gander up?' Spike turned towards a red faced Buffy.

'You, that's what,' Buffy yelled, 'Don't act like you don't know. You're going to strip at Anya's party!'

'Oh balls, yes.' Spike rolled his eyes, 'I'm doing the demon girl a favour.'

'A favour? Don't make me laugh,' hysterical laughter threatened to burst forth.

'I'm the very non-soul of seriousness.'

'You're only doing it to make me jealous.'

'Is it working?' Spike grinned. 'No need to tell me, I can see it does. Real question is, why does it bother you so much? 'Cause I'm taking my clothes off for other birds?'

'You conceited-'

'Anyway, I'm being paid for my services.'

'So what? Anya would only pay peanuts.'

'Is that right? Well she's paying me two hundred of them. Might make peanut butter.'

Buffy stopped for a moment, 'But that's three day's wages at the Doublemeat.'

Spike nodded.

'Does she need a double act?'

******************

'We're staying at the _Sunnydale Sleep Easy_. Uhuh, we're going to see her parents tomorrow and have lunch. I'm not expecting any, no. Tara, that's Willow's friend, put in a spell similar to the one at _Caritas_, so I feel pretty safe. I miss you too, sweetie. She's out with Anya, Buffy and Willow. Hope you're keeping the bed warm. Shush, what if Angel heard you? So what's been happening at home? Wes is having the card framed? In the entrance? Why? I guess seeing the great Anyanka turned human and William the Bloody turned stripper would deter them from a life of evil. Ok, you hang up first. No you. You. Charles... On the count of three. One. Two. Three. You didn't hang up. Alright baby, I'll see you soon. Love you, bye.'

******************

Xander lay in bed staring at the ceiling.

'Anya, we need to talk.'

Anya turned to face him, 'I think so too. I was watching Oprah the other day and she said the leading cause of most divorces is a lack of communication. I'll start. I enjoyed spending time with your ex girlfriend. Not long ago I would have scratched her eyeballs out. See? I'm making progress with my possession issues. That's another thing Oprah discussed.'

'No, wait. I'm concerned about your party. Actually concerned isn't the word for it, worried beyond all rational reason would be more appropriate,' Xander said.

'Honey, if this is about,' Anya said, 'Willow told me you might have a problem with the dancer. I assured her that you are a mature,' Anya stopped when Xander shook his head in denial.

'Nuhuh, in no way claiming to be mature.'

'It's just a ritual. A human ritual. A treat for the eyes of my female guests. And you're having a stripper at your party, too.'

Xander sighed. 

'First of all, yes I am but this is different. I don't want you checking out other guys. No treat for you.'

'But it's ok for you to check out some other girl?' Anya said.

'See? This is where the lack of rationality comes in.' 

Xander audibly gulped, 'Who is it?'

Anya hesitated. 

'Spike.'

'Tight, muscular, lean cuisine creature of the night, Spike?'

'Yes.'

Xander sighed in relief, 'Oh, thank god. I was stressing thinking it would be someone you'd be attracted to. You might have told me earlier and saved me a heart attack.'

'Sorry, Xander. I had to get someone that the girls both human and demon would want to see stripping and Spike fit the bill. But no treat for Mrs. Anya Harris nee Jenkins,' Anya smiled, 'Although, I was thinking he could use a lasso to spice up his act, or a-'

'Ahn, I'm begging. Please don't put those mental images in my head.'

The engaged couple snuggled closer under the covers.

'You know, there was a time when I also danced the seductive and tantalising dance of the male stripper.'

'Really?'

'Yep. Summer after graduation. Car broke down and I had to earn money. I was hired at the seediest little dive and...'

'Do you, ah, remember those moves?'

_"I believe in miracles, Where you from? You sexy thing..."_


	3. Part Three

**Girls Night Out by RedDwarfette**

**Summary:** Anya hires Spike as the entertainment at her bachelorette party. Season 6 of BtVS.****

**AN:** This fiction is dedicated to all the fans of BtVS & Ats who need a laugh.

**Disclaimer: **The characters of _Buffy_ & _Angel_ are the property of Joss Whedon, Fox & UPN.

************************************

Wesley entered the hotel lobby, head immersed in an ancient Juo Mingna volume.

'Angel, can I get your opinion on...' Wesley lowered the text.

'Who's going to be a warrior for the light? Who's going to fight the forces of evil? Yes, you are. Oh, yes you are,' Gunn held Connor over his head jiggling the baby and making him chortle.

'Where's Angel?' Wesley asked.

'Not here. Is he big boy?' 

After Wesley quirked a brow, Gunn revised, 'I was talking to the baby.'

'Right. Well. When can we expect him back?'

'Few hours. Said he had to check out something important in Sunnydale,' Gunn adjusted his hold on Connor and stood up. 'Did Cordy tell him why she and Fred left?'

Wesley shook his head, 'Hmm. Not that I recall.'

'I think he got a pretty good idea when he read that card,' Gunn pointed to the frame next to the reception desk. 'Looked kind of stunned for a minute. Told me to watch squirt, grabbed something from your office and hightailed it out here.'

'Ah.' Wes turned back towards his office.

'Hold up. There something important you need to look at,' Gunn said.

Wesley's arms reflexively closed around the baby. 

'What is it?' 

Gunn strolled from the room with a grin on his face.

'It's your turn to change the diaper.'

******************

Janice hurried up the backstairs of the Summers home.

'What took you so long?' Dawn asked from the porch.

'Had to get some change,' Janice held up a few loose dollar bills.

Both teenagers burst into excited giggles.

When they calmed down, Janice said, 'I can't believe this is happening. It's like the coolest thing we've ever done. Carly is so not going to believe it.'

'I know,' Dawn said holding up a camera. 'That's why I have this.'

'Oh yeah baby,' Janice winked. 'Hubba hubba, double bubba.'

'There will be no hubba or bubba,' Buffy emerged from behind the side of the house.

'Gah! Buffy, don't do that.'

'I thought I told you, no strippers,' Buffy said.

'I'm not a child, stop treating me like one. If you had your way I'd still be watching _Strawberry Shortcake _and playing with a _Care Bear_. Anyway, Anya invited us.' Dawn said crossing her arms and barely resisting the urge to stamp her foot.

'Why am I not surprised? Alright, you can stay but you can't watch the stripper. No buts,' Buffy continued over the teenage protests. 'Of any kind. I'm not letting you watch someone you know strip and make a general ass of him self.' 

Buffy reconsidered, 'Moreso.'

'Why,' Dawn said with a puzzled look. 'Who is it?'

'Spike,' Buffy ground out.

'Spike? You're kidding.' 

Dawn's laughter came to abrupt stop at the furious expression of her sister's face. 

'Oh, you're not kidding.'

******************

Willow mixed the last of the punch. 'Mmm, tasty.'

A knock at the door interrupted her preparations.

'Willow, hi.'

Willow blinked in surprise. 

'Angel, is it another apocalypse? Buffy and Dawn went to the store for more snacks.'

'What? No, no. I was just in the neighbourhood. Wanted to wish Xander and Anya the best.'

'Uhuh,' Willow gestured. 'Why don't you come in?'

Angel and Willow entered the decorated lounge room.

'Party?' Angel said eyes on the newly mixed punch.

'For Anya. Newly human and yet she knows every wedding tradition you could shake a stick at. Not that, you know, it would be healthy for you to be shaking sticks nilly willy. Being a vampire and all and I'll just stop now, shall I?' Willow said. 

Mere seconds later the Witch broke her vow of silence, 'So um, I think we have some pig's blood for emergencies in the fridge, would you like some?'

Angel nodded, 'That would be great. But why would you need pigs-'

Willow grateful to escape any explanations dashed out of the room. Once in the kitchen, she opened the jar of blood and began to pour it into a cup, nose wrinkling. Ugh, how can they drink that stuff? Ok, unholy children of the night might crave it like pixie sticks but yuck. Gingerly she picked up the mug and headed back into the lounge.

'Angel, here's your...' Willow trailed off. 

The room was empty.

******************

Anya smiled at her guests. 'Come in, come in. Celebrate my success in snagging a male provider and full time lover.'

Satisfied at the way the humans and non humans were mingling around the buffet, Anya approached her fiancé's ex and her co worker.

'Hi Fred. Cordelia, I'm so glad you could make it. How was lunch with your parents?'

'Weird and disturbing,' Fred answered.

Cordelia frowned before shrugging her shoulders.

'Actually, it was weird and disturbing for me too. And they're my parents. They thought Fred was my gay lover, not that,' Cordelia glanced in Willow's direction, 'there's anything wrong with that.'

'I'll just get us a drink,' Fred said before departing to the buffet table.

Cordelia broke the silence. 'Well, this is nice.'

'I know,' Anya said. 'Last night, before Xander and I had hours of pleasurable coupling time, I mentioned that previously I would have scratched your eyes out. Now I am content, secure in my relationship and have adequately dealt with my jealousy issues.'

Cordelia nodded. 

'I understand. And my eyes thank you for your mercy.'

'Plus sisters need to stick together. But I'd still drop kick you where you stand if you flirt with him.'

'With Xander? Please, I have an actual prince at home.'

Anya's eyes widened, 'Really? I hope you are as happy with your prince as I am with Xander. And if you have any problems, I have a few old friends you might like to meet...'

Cordelia took the glass Fred offered and clinked it against Anya's. 'You know Anya? I think we'll get along fine.'

******************

Nope, nope, ah, this must be it. Halfrek came to a stop in the driveway. Tonight was the first night off she'd had since Anyanka had left the vengeance fold and by damn, she was planning on having a good one. Drinks, shmoozing, a little devious hinting about Xander's faithfulness and, knowing Anyanka, some cute entertainment to cap it off. 

A rustling in nearby bushes disturbed Halfrek's musings. She watched as a pale form emerged into the twilight and began to walk towards the house. Not too bad, not too bad, she thought. I'm definitely getting at least one delectable squeeze out of that rear. His head turned for a moment, features in silhouette. Ones that bore a remarkable resemblance to-

'Wi- William?' Halfrek said. 

Spike stopped mid stride.

'Is that you? I heard you were made a vampire. How quaint.' 

Halfrek moved forward till she stood behind him, 'What are you doing here?'

Spike sighed and turned to face the vengeance demon.

'Favour for a friend. Use to be in your line of business, I believe. Wants me to inspect the, um...' 

Halfrek's eyebrow lifted a notch. It gave her a moment to appreciate the delightful changes in her former admirer.

'Oh, sod it. I'm the dancer,' Spike blurted out. 

Halfrek slowly smiled, 'Really? That's quite a lifestyle change.'

She leant forward and whispering in his ear, 'Do you do private shows?'

'Ah...'

'Demon, demon, human. Demon, wait, no, human,' Buffy watched the questionable woman enter her abode before turning back to face the street. What the-? Who was that? Buffy stepped off the porch and approached the couple in the driveway. 

'Is there a problem here?'

'Not at all. See you later, William,' Halfrek winked at Spike before sauntering into the house. A delectable squeeze, indeed.

'That's it!' Buffy shrieked. 'I want to talk to you now.'

Buffy grabbed Spike's arm and dragged him away from the house.

'Before you blow a gasket, calm down,' Spike said putting his hands on Buffy's shoulders.

'I am calm,' she yelled out then in a deadly calm voice continued, 'And not going to blow a gasket. In fact, I won't be blowing anything again.'

Spike sighed, 'Now pet, don't be like that. I can see you're frazzled what with Anya's do but think of it like this. You let me go in, give the girls a good seeing to,' at Buffy's look he amended, 'No touching of the merchandise, and then Anya's off your back.'

Buffy nodded stiffly.

'Maybe you should talk to her about your jealousy issues.'

'I am not-' Buffy tirade was interrupted by a hard kiss. Oblivious to the eyeful the neighbours were getting, Buffy clutched him closer.

Lifting his head, Spike smiled, 'There's my girl.'

'I am not-' Buffy fell silent while staring into the face of defeat. 

Spike took her hand and pulled her towards the house, 'Come on. You've got to see this nifty thing I've been practising with the jacket. I'll even give you a free demonstration later at the crypt.'

Buffy smirked, 'Promise?'

******************

'That's it baby. Shake it!'

The crowd went wild when the dancer's shirt hit the floor.

'Now this is my kind of club,' Chris said enjoying the atmosphere. 'Aren't you glad I convinced you to come?'

'Oh yeah, it's the coolest. Next to the cocktail wieners, of course,' Xander said with a shrug.

The boys took a table close to the stage and ordered drinks. 

'See Xander, the night was salvageable after all,' Matt said with a grin. 'I thought we were a goner when she cancelled but here we are.'

Xander nodded at his co worker and reached for the bowl of peanuts in the centre of the table.

'Never underestimate the need for some...' Ed trailed off as a particularly endowed beauty starting shaking her god given talents. 'Sorry, what was I saying?' 

Chris slipped some money into the garter of the dancer, 'Whatever it was I agree with it.'

For once, not too interested in semi naked ladies, Xander ate a handful of peanuts and looked over the crowd. After a moment he frowned. If he didn't know better he would have thought that was a Chaos demon to the left of the stage casually enjoying the floorshow.

The lights dimmed and the voice of an excited announcer echoed throughout the club.

'Introducing, one of the greatest dancers ever to grace _Night Pleasures _stage. Recently coaxed out of retirement for your viewing pleasure, give it up for... The Masked Zorro!'


	4. Part Four

**Girls Night Out by RedDwarfette**

**Summary:** Anya hires Spike as the entertainment at her bachelorette party. Season 6 of BtVS.****

**AN:** This fiction is dedicated to all the fans of BtVS & Ats who need a laugh.

**Disclaimer: **The characters of _Buffy_ & _Angel_ are the property of Joss Whedon, Fox & UPN.

************************************

'Ms. Morgan? I have the special delivery you requested.' 

Lilah extended her hand for the package. 

'You may go,' she told the nervous employee after he placed the delivery in her hand.

Lilah waiting till he exited her office before she eagerly tore open the packaging. She smoothed the crinkled paper down on the desk. A bold headline on the front page jumped out at her. Hmm, what's this? She turned the pages of the paper to find the article.

****

**Sunnydale**** Press  **                                                              _                                                                                      Page 11, 2003_

_                                                                                                    Out & About in Sunnydale_

                                                                                                   STRIPPER STRIPPED BARE 

                                                                                                              by Anna Morgan

_Surprising__ events last night transformed quiet suburban __Revello__ Drive__ into a scene similar to that of a daytime soap. According to long time residents of the street, Mrs. E and her daughter Mrs. D, the incident began when local business woman and upstanding citizen Miss A hired an exotic dancer to celebrate her bachelorette party at the home of Miss B. Unfortunately the dancer she hired, a frequent visitor to Revello Drive, was the secret lover of Miss B (regularly seen leaving the home in the early hours of the morning). The volatile situation spiraled out of control late yesterday afternoon with the arrival of numerous women to Miss B's residence and her boyfriend. Miss B and her man were seen by local residents arguing her front lawn before entering into the home. Tranquility on the street was shattered when, a mere hour after the arrival of the guests, Miss B's lover ran into the street, clothes torn and chased by howling women. A friend of Miss B's sister, Miss J who attended the party was able to reveal the shocking details that lead to this event. _

Miss J: _"Everything seemed super normal, which is kind of weird in Sunnydale but whatever. I was drinking a coke and talking to_ [name deleted to protect identity] _when all of the sudden some of the girls drinking the punch starting acting odd. Getting antsy for some booty action, I think one said. When the time came for the dancer to start, Miss B sent me and_ [name deleted to protect identity] _to the kitchen so we wouldn't see the stripper. Miss A tried to reason with her but she wouldn't budge. I don't know why, it's not like I don't see more on The O.C. Anyway, the music started and we heard yelling but it wasn't normal 'Oh my god, he's hot get me a cold shower like' yelling, so we peeked around the corner. We saw Miss B's boyfriend trying to fend off like a ton of crazy chicks with Miss B helping. He ran into the street and the girls ran after him, tearing at his clothes till he was practically naked and we saw his di-"_

_Mrs. E and Mrs. D maintain once the poor man was tackled in the street, the women converged upon him. Miss B was seen jumping into the melee trying to rescue her man but disappeared under a tangle of female arms and legs. The commotion was brought to an end only after Miss B's younger sister turned the hose on the group. Miss B proceeded to cover her boyfriend in an old coat before escorting him away from the scene. Soaked and dazed the women retreated into the house, with one red haired guest overheard speculating that the punch may have been tampered with by an Angel. Divine intervention? Perhaps not, but I know of at least one male stripper who will reconsider his life style choice before performing again.___

Interesting, Lilah thought. Better make a note of it in the relevant files before Gavin finds out. 

She continued to flip through the paper until she reached the back pages and paused. Up until recently it had been years since she'd thought about him. Suppressing a shudder part arousal part disgust at her vulnerability Lilah pressed a button on her phone, 'Sharon? Clear my schedule for tomorrow.' 

At last, with a smile at her own foolishness, Lilah leant forward to read the paper.

**Sunnydale**** Press**                                                                                                                                                 _Page 42, 2003_

_                                                                                                          Sunnydale After Dark_

                                                                         THE MASKED ZORRO RETURNS TO NIGHT PLEASURES!

                                                                                                              by Alyssa Downes

                                                                                              ~THE END~


End file.
